My greatest flaw is definately my disorder. It holds me back so much. I constantly worry about everything. Especially the future. I worry about being able to get a job and if I’ll even be able to maintain a job with this disorder. I worry about if I’m gonna be able to afford a house, or groceries even. All of these worries get planted in my head and I just can’t make them stop. I always imagine the worst case scenario happening in every situation. It’s so hard just to get from class to class. I am absolutely dreading the first day back to school, but I’ll save that for another post. The point is I worry about the smallest, most unintimidating things. This effects me in my everyday life and keeps me from doing things I want to do. I’ve missed out on so many birthday parties just because I didn’t know everyone who was gonna be there. I’ve dreaded doing a presentation the entire night before, so worried I was unable to sleep. I don’t like telling anybody about my worries, even close friends, because they’re so insignificant, no one would understand. This is my greatest flaw. I’ve tried so hard to ignore it or forget about it, but it’s impossible. Therapy and medication aren’t an option. I just have to live with it and hopefully I’ll be able to continue functioning after high school. Well thanks for reading. Please leave a comment if you have any inputs. I would love to hear what you have to say. 🙂
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mystruggleswithanxiety 
Hi there. I am so sorry you are one of us lucky ones blessed with an anxiety disorder. I have struggled with anxiety for many years, but can tell you that with time you’ll learn to cope. Why are therapy or meds out of the question? You do not deserve having to suffer alone.
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Haha. I wouldn’t call it “blessed”. More like “cursed”. Well my dad doesn’t believe that the disorder I have exists. Everytime I have an anxiety attack, he says I’m faking it or calls me crazy. I don’t tell him that I need therapy because he won’t believe me. We don’t have enough money for a good therapist anyway. It’s the same with the medicine. My dad doesn’t believe my disorder is real. I’ll have to suffer alone because people either don’t believe in it or don’t understand it. I’ve been suffering in silence since the symptoms of it became obvious. Everytime I bring it up, it does me no good.
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it really hurts when people don’t get it, huh. My father used to say very hurtful things, too, and later told me he didn’t know how to help me, and that made HIM defensive. Can you talk to a counselor at school?
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I don’t think I can talk to anybody. I’m afraid my counselor will tell my dad and if I try to talk about how I feel, I’ll start crying and will barely be able to share anything clearly.
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I understand. Counselors are bound by confidentiality, though, and won’t disclose what you tell then unless you are at risk of harming yourself. I am one! Also, I can tell you many, many students break down and cry. That’s part of healing:)
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I just don’t like sharing feelings. It’s weird to me. It makes me really uncomfortable. I’m just too afraid to leave class and go talk to her.
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Fair enough:) Let me know if you ever would like to reach out to me via EMail. No pressure.
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Thanks. 🙂 I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.
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